You Feel Like You’re Stuck in a Rut. Here’s Why.
I was once talking to a guy who worked in construction for a living, had a girlfriend he was dating for a while, but they were kind of losing their spark, and he was ultimately just going through the motions in his day to day life.
His job wasn’t terrible, but he didn’t like it. The best part about the job was that it broke up the monotony that he had to deal with at home with his partner… where the two of them were ultimately just tolerant with each other at this point.
So I asked the question…
“Tell me, where is it that you would like to be six months from now? What would you like to do for work? Do you still want to be with this girl?”
So on and so forth.
When I ask others a question like this, almost every single time I won’t quite get the answer to the question I asked. I’ll instead get the answer to the question..
“What do you NOT want to be doing six months from now.”
This time was no different. Talking to a guy like this, the answer is usually “Well I know that I don’t want to be doing construction anymore, I’m not really a big fan of the manual labor, and would rather be doing office work or working from home in some way…. Something like that.”
The same thing goes for the relationship.
“I don’t want to end the relationship, but I also don’t think I see us getting married. We are just kind of coasting, and I don’t want to make the wrong decision.”
So what is the similarity between these responses?
Both of them are answering the question of what this guy does NOT want to do, and giving absolutely no insight into what he DOES want to do.
This is what creates situations where people continue to coast through their day to day lives, and just go through the motions, because you cannot move onward and upward if you don’t know which direction you are taking yourself.
Let me repeat that.
You cannot move onward and upward if you don’t know which direction you are taking yourself.
So if you want to start living a happier life.
- Have more money.
- More sex.
- Better sex.
- Nicer things.
- More convenience.
- Better health
Then you have to give yourself a clear picture of where it is that you DO want to go, and stop focusing on where you do not want to go.
Instead of “I don’t want to still be working construction” you have to think “Man, I would love to work in the newsroom.”
Instead of thinking “I don’t really want to break up with her” you have to think “I want to take her out to her favorite place, where we had our first date, to see if that will get that spark back.”
When you focus on what you DO want to have happen, you can work toward manifesting those ideas into reality.
When you focus on what you DON’T want to have happen, you usually end up running right into it.
Take the skiing example that was used to explain this concept to me.
You’re skiing down a mountain, and you see a whole lot of trees off to your right.
All of a sudden, instead of focusing on the path in front of you, you start to think about what you DON’T want to do… and that’s run into the trees.
So you look over at the trees, because that’s where your focus is, and guess what happens when you’re looking at the trees?
You run into the trees.
Don’t run into the trees.